Welcome to the newest feature on The Grim Tidings Podcast.com, GOAT DEMON BLOOD SWORD, which shall feature blood-soaked goblin interviewer/Splatter Elf mascot Grim Gozzoth talking to some of the heavy-hitters of the fantasy genre. Grim Gozzoth never went to school for this shit, so bear that in mind. Enjoy!
Grim Gozzoth: Thank you for agreeing to this meeting, manflesh. We shall dig further into your guts and find the truths that await within. Our shamans have received ill omens from the constellation of the Skeletal Serpent, but we shall carry on. For my first question, I’d like to start with the usual: who is your favorite Butcher of the Five Angelic Scars?
Sebastien De Castell: Buddy Holly. Sure, Elvis had more hits, but Buddy brought so much melodic innovation to the genre that I think he deserves more recognition. Give the man a sharpened Stratocaster and he would totally have butchered the shit out of those angelic scars.
GG: How does it feel to be human?
SDC: Like being a goblin only taller and you don’t freak out every time you catch your reflection in a mirror. Actually, after a while, you start to freak out when your reflection anyway, so I guess not that different.
GG: Sacrificial offerings are something often brought up in the office. How many elves have you sacrificed to the Petrified Goddess and why so many?
SDC: Six, but to be fair, I was just trying to sacrifice the one. I kept getting the setting on the blender wrong.
GG: You write books. What is your feeling on the transition from e-books to the nightly screeches of swamp hags?
SDC: I think we all need to move past the false dichotomy between nightly swamp hag screeches and e-readers. Both have an audience, both have a place in the modern world of publishing, and, really, in the end what matters are the stories, right?
GG: I collect the withered husks of forgotten pixies. What is your most prized grotesquerie in your collection?
SDC: I kept a gorgeous collection of tiny misshapen sprites until one day my mother pointed out that those were just desiccated flies. I got my first pair of prescription glasses the next day.
GG: You are well-renowned for your musical ability with the pan-flute. What creature’s bones did you craft it from?
SDC: Well, I have several pan flutes, but my favourite is made from the dried tongues of swamp hags. Every song I perform with it is like french-kissing seven septuagenarian serpents. #heaven
GG: I can’t stop eating raw turnips. Can you help me?
SDC: If you look at a raw turnip from just the right angle, it looks like the inside of a troll’s testicle. Let that thought guide your culinary decisions.
GG: What is the smartest thing you can say to people to prove that you are not a minion of the Necromancer Lord Aktolminium?
SDC: Uh . . . because I joined the Kiss Army when I was a kid? Sure, Gene Simmons was the most popular, but I think Ace Frehley was the better musician.
GG: And finally, tell us about your books.
SDC: I’m the author of the swashbuckling fantasy series, The Greatcoats, which has just completed with the fourth and final book, Tyrant’s Throne. For those just starting out, the first book is Traitor’s Blade, which was shortlisted for the Goodreads Choice Award for Best Fantasy, the Gemmell Award for Best Debut, the Cambell Award for Best New Writer, and the Prix Imaginale for Best Foreign Work.
My new series is a YA fantasy with a wild-west feel called Spellslinger. The first book is out now and the sequel, Shadowblack, comes out in October.
Click on the picture to Sebastien’s Amazon author page!